The Golden Time

"She had spent the golden time in grudging its going."
- Dorothy Parker

I have my issues with aging.  I can no longer recall how many times I have noticed a new sag or wrinkle or.....and exclaimed, "what the heck is that!"  And how many times I have sighed loudly after such exclamations.  I don't chide myself for such outbursts of incredulity.  After all, this getting older process is filled with incredulity.  Most days, after the outburst and the sigh, I shake my head.  It seems to be a three step process.  And most days, a fourth step is added whereupon I smile at myself and say, "oh well."  This leads to an interpretation of the words oh well that my wonderful mother used which was, "that is either a deep subject or a hole in the ground."

And thus it goes.  Some days aging does feel like a deep subject.  One to be embraced and explored for what it is and what it is not.  And some days, it does indeed feel like a hole in the ground.  I know this, I do not want to dig my own hole of regret.  My time on earth is now, every day, now.  I hold no grudges with time.  That, being a colossal waste of time.  Amidst the sighs and head shakes and oh wells I want to hold time with awe.  Awed that I was born into this world and awed that my time is finite.  Mine to continue to explore and care for and live right up to the day I die.  What a privilege.  What an adventure.  What a head shake.

xo

Suki